Choosing Life-Giving Words

By Randy Wilson

"I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live" (Deuteronomy 30:19 emphasis added).

Future generations have a claim on us, our time, our choices, our thoughts, our words, our actions and our plans. We choose every day between life and death, blessings and curses in our homes. Think about the home in which you grew up. Think back to words spoken repeatedly. Were they words of life or death? Words penetrate our souls and stake a claim that we at some point must accept or deny. Sometimes before we can choose words of life for our home, we must revoke words of death that we have heard our whole lives and that we may now be speaking to our children.

I would encourage you to sit with a pen and paper before the Lord and ask Him to reveal words that need to be canceled that were spoken to you in your home. Get away to a quiet place and ask the Lord to reveal to you the wounds to your heart that you carry, directly related to words of death that were spoken to you in the past. I would then encourage you to write these down and ask God to revoke the power of these words in your life.

Your prayer might be something like this, “Father, come and speak your language to my heart where these words of death once lived. I pray for restoration and renewal as I ask you to cancel and break the power and hold that these words have had on me. Now give me the new words that describe who I am as I stand before you.”

Then as you listen to him, write down the words that he tells you.

Messages like:

I chose you when I planned creation . . . (from Ephesians 1:11-12)
I knit you together in your mother’s womb. . . . you are fearfully and wonderfully made. (from Psalm 139:13-14)
You are not a mistake. All of your days are written in my book (from Psalm 139:15-16)
My plan for your future is filled with hope. (from Jeremiah 29:11)
I love you with an everlasting love. (from Jeremiah 31:3)
You are my treasured possession. (from Exodus19:5)
I don't condemn my children. (from Romans 8:1)

The next step is gathering your children and asking their forgiveness if you have spoken words that have wounded them. Let them tell you what words have hurt. Get out a paper and pen again and ask your children what words they need to hear in order to feel loved and valued. Write down these words and hang them in your home as your chosen words of life to impact the generations to come. Then practice saying them over and over. Restore blessing over cursing. The words will breathe life where there was once death.

We have gathered our seven children over the years and have listened to their hearts. We have document the words of life we will speak in our home.

Words like:

You are fully accepted and unconditionally loved now and always.
Our family would not be the same without you.
You are incredible and a treasure.
You are created exactly the way God wanted you.
I am proud of you. There is no one like you in the world.
You are so precious.

Then take the words that have been hurtful to both you and your children and have a bonfire with the words on those pages.

Speaking words of life is a choice and our words literally set a course of life for those who hear them. God can redeem the years the locusts have eaten and restore life where there was once death, grace where there was once legalism, peace where there was once discord and joy where there was once grief.

Choose life, so that you and your children may live!

For more information regarding intentional parenting, visit the Web site of

Focus on the Family.